Little Miss Dreamer

Today, ppl ard me for all, for some reason: (1) stressed, or (2) xian, or (3) depressed, or (4) all of the above.

Yes, it's that time of the semester. Time to count down to final examz.

And there's an added reason to be stressed/xian/depressed for the final year students -- It's the FINAL final examz.

Think half the ppl ard me are going thru some degree of what's termed the "Quarter Life Crisis" (Shu calls it the "Half Life Crisis" coz she thinks that she'll only live up to 50 years old). Career is getting no where (no job after graduation). Studies is getting no where either (prepared to see lotsa Cs after skipping so many classes thus far in an attempt to complete the thesis). Minimized social life (after isolating ourselves for months doing thesis). Zero love life (better guys are either taken or they are gay or they wanna remain bachelors for life).

More and more ppl are getting more and more depressed. It scares me. And there's nothing I can do to improve the situation.

Sigh...

posted by XY @ 8:19 PM

Endless projects and assignments to do... endless readings and tutorials to catch up.... endless cover letter writing and resume sending...

Not the best situation to be in when u don't feel well....

Overworked >> Tired out >> fall sick >> behind schedule >> need to catch up>> overworked >>......

Will all these ever come to an end?? I really wonder...

Wanted to talk to someone... but apparently that someone is alwayz busy... we can't even hold a decent conversation nowadays... there's alwayz something for that someone to do before I can reach the point I wanna make... I don't blame anyone... but it juz upsets me that everything must come into the way when I wanna talk to that someone...

The distance is getting greater... I know it but there's juz nothing that I can do...

posted by XY @ 10:34 PM

TODAY I PIERCED MY EARS IN COMMEMORATION OF THE END OF MY FINAL YEAR THESIS!!!!!

Oh... special thanks go to LW for accompanying me to pierce my ears (LW: see I got acknowledge u hor...)

Yup... My final year thesis officially ended on 17 March 2004 at 9.28pm...

Thank God my partners and I went in to JK's office early yesterday.. heard that there are groups that worked overnite in his office til 10am this morning..

End of thesis = end of mental torture/getting nagging, scolding and black face from JK/staying in JK's office til 10pm (and at times 1am)/piah-ing taxi home late at nite juz to continue working/having dinner at 11pm/skipping lectures and tutorials/copying tutorial answers...

Many lessons learnt thru this thesis... esp in the past 1 week:

(1) never argue with authority even if they are wrong or unreasonable... juz say "yes" and "ok"... and smile (fake it if u can't give a genuine one)

(2) never judge a book by its cover.. ppl who appear nice can backstab u at the very last minute..

(3) the only person who is really really concern about me is my mum... and perhaps LW and Shu and YX.. that's abt all..

(4) ppl whom u expect to be ard when u are down are never there..

(5) miscellaneous stuff: how to use binding machine, how to get the comp lab guy to print extra copy of ur report for free when all ur printout turn out to have half a page chop off, etc etc...

FYP grade: A (hopefully), printing and binding costs: >$15, taxi fare:$40+, lessons learnt: priceless.

posted by XY @ 10:32 PM

My prof is getting more and more crazy... today is the thesis grading deadline but he refuses to see us til now (5.52pm)... went in earlier and kena scolded... tyesterday he told us to go in and see him between 12.30 to 1pm... then when we go in he asked why we go in so early and don't bother to improve til the last minute... and this is what he calls WRONG ATTITUDE... what is this???????? @#$%^&@#$%^&*@#$%^&

Totally can't stand him... now everybody don't dare to go in to his office...

endless waiting.... sigh....

posted by XY @ 5:58 PM

Haha... I thought I was done with my thesis the other day.... went to see my prof on thursday from 4.30pm all the way to12.30am!!! this guy is crazy... then he made us make so many non-value added changes... then made me work all the way since then til sat... no sleep... but thank God me and my partners managed to finish and hand in 15min before the deadline... *phew*

Finally can sleep all I want!! slept from 11pm last nite to 1pm today!! Muahahahaha.... pay off all my sleep debt in one shot!! And I get to do my personal stuff for today... mugging shall start tmr... haha~

That's abt all for now... having dinner liao... ciaoz~

posted by XY @ 7:41 PM

I'm finally done with my thesis!!! Now juz pray that my prof won't wanna have any funny idea again and get us to test things out... at last some proper sleep and back to my books... yah yah havent touch my textbooks for ages... been a full month of skipping classes and zapping tutorial solutions... so happy that i'm back to the NORMAL student life... haha...

Doing this thesis is worst than getting pregnant.. human pregnancy is only 9 mths.. I've been stuck with this thesis for 13 mths since I started my preliminary reading last Feb.. even Chyuan said she's very sian of me saying i'm doing my thesis... I myself feel very sian as well.. esp the past 1 mth... many late nites for the sake of this paper... getting dark eye rings and eyebags already (Shu has the Clinque "all abt eyes" I don't have... =P)...

But I thank God for giving me the strength to go on when I'm on the brink of burn out... and for the great partners Shu and WY I have for this thesis... the many days when we do work together in the library and comp lab during the holiday with our 1hr lunch break cum chit chat sessions... breakfast/tea cum project meeting at CompassPoint Mac and BK.. and the HOURS we spent in Joseph Kang's office.. think these r the most memorable times in my NTU life...

Received the email from OAS today... my convocation is on 13 July in the afternoon... getting excited about graduating... Juz pray that I'll get a job real soon!!

Spoke to SK and Ben online today... looks like they r having lotsa fun staying together... Hope I can save up enough to visit them soon!!

Hmm.. shall sleep early tonite... so happy!!! Nitez nitez!!!

posted by XY @ 10:38 PM

Been a fruitful day!! Pst Phil is in town and it's great to be able to listen to his preaching again.. everytime he comes he never fails to bring a word in season for the church and for us as individual..

And had a fruitful fellowship after svc with some of the members.. talk abt alot of things.. from God's healing power to faith to mission to loving ppl with God's love.. i guess this kind of fellowship really serves to build up one another in the CG.. should have it more often!!

Yah and there's this guy in my CG now who reminds me alot abt SK who used to disciple me.. read alot and have alot to share.. it's like deja vu.. really missed those days when he shared at Serangoon Mac.. guess i'm the type who learn alot from listening and having ppl who's willing to share ard me is really great help!!

That's all for the moment.. *yawn* better have my little date with Father God and have an early nite.. ciaoz~

posted by XY @ 12:21 AM

Haven't been blogging for days!! As usual, busy with my stupid thesis...

Less than 2 weeks to the deadline.. yet my prof is asking us to do this and that... my project partners and i are all overworked and NOT paid... sigh... haven't been sleeping... let alone having time to go out and all... think i'm isolating myself from the world already...

A friend was telling me abt how some little girl tried to throw herself at her boyfriend... young girls nowadays are really bod and daring.. or maybe me and my friend juz too conservative... but the younger girls seem to have no reservation about expressing their love... or even seducing the guy.. which i find somewhat scary... do girls have to degrade themselves to this extend to get guys' attention?? really sad case that younger girls actually think this will work... sigh...

posted by XY @ 4:02 AM