Little Miss Dreamer

This is definitely a record... was stuck in my prof's office for 6 hours in a row juz to discuss my thesis... got so many things to add on to what we have rite now (though my report is already running into 90 over pages in all)... looks like my term break next week will be entirely devoted to this stupid paper... sigh....

Haiz... looks like some of my closest friends forgot abt my birthday... not that I'm petty over such issue... afterall I'm really into birthday celebration and all that... but I wonder if they really care.... sending some birthday greetings isn't that difficut yah?? well then again everyone is busy with their own lives so one can't really expect much from others... if ppl ard u are nice to u, it's really a bonus that u should thank God for...

posted by XY @ 1:08 AM

YOHOOOOOO~

I'm FINALLY done with the 1st draft of my thesis!!!

Been stuck with this thesis for more than 1 year... worse than child-bearing... many days and nites of sitting in front of the comp battling with all the spreadsheets and statistically software... many tear sheding experience... not that i'm upset but rather keep staring at computer screen til my eyes tear uncontrollably.... quite funny now come to think of it... haha~

shall reward myself with some beauty sleep... ciaoz~

posted by XY @ 12:56 AM

Attended both services for today coz Pastor Ulf is in town and he's preaching different messages for the 2 services... it was simply awesome.. esp for the 7.30pm service... toward the end he shared about revival among the youth and the 3 things required: purity, passion, and a simple mind..

Out of the three, i think a simple mind is really rare and precious in the world today... ppl r thinking too much... so much so that they think more for their own survival in a perceived complex world than about loving God and loving others... we all have to come back to God with a simple heart that love Him and desire more of Him each day.. not juz praising praises and worshipping worship and sharing a word... but praising God and worshipping God and sharing God...

The 7.30pm svc was also the baby dedication svc... the babies are juz sooooo cute!!! among the babies were pastor zhuang and pastor chee kiang's kids... pastor chee kiang's quite funny... gel his son's hair up exactly like his... haha... and since Pasot Ulf's in town he laid hand and prayed for each of the babies... so blessed to be prayed for by such a great man of God...

posted by XY @ 12:37 AM

What an hectic day... think i have a totally crazy schedule today.... running ard the whole day like a mad woman...

suppose to have class from 12.30 to 4.30 today... but since i missed my fixed income securities tutorial yesterday so i went for a make-up tutorial from 10.30 to 12.30... which means that i ended up having 6 hours of tutorials in a row... to add on to that i had a project discussion which skretched from 4.30 to 6pm... when i was done i thought i could take my own sweet time to get to the airport to send my friend off... then i saw this sms from another friend saying that the flight is at 8pm instead of 10pm... that friend of mine is really blur... he actually got his flight departure time wrong!! which means i had to rushed down to the airport before 7.30pm... and mind u i was still in school which is in boon lay.. getting from the west to the east in 1 1/2 hours' time is like mission impossible... for a moment i really din feel like going down at all... been having late nights and was having a splitting headached then...

Then i rush to the school bus stop and there i saw a taxi!! was thinking i was a miracle from God when the taxi driver told me that he's ending his shift already... but well he was kind enough to send me to boon lay mrt without charging me taxi fare... and he advised me to take mrt instead of taxi to the airport coz of the peak hour traffic jam along PIE... so i had this super long train ride from one end of the east-west line to the other end... juz in time to say hi and bye bye to my friend...

So by the time i reach the airport i was feeling tired and kinduv numb... anyway i feel that it's a happy thing that he can further his studies in sydney in a rather well-known uni... better than local u like nus and ntu.. so there wasn't the slightest sad feeling... so when he passed the custom and i saw that another girl in the click cried i was so shocked!! am i so emotionless or slow to react or what that i dun feel a thing?? and here it is another friend teared... hmmm... dun understand... maybe i've seen too much of such parting scene... the first time i parted from my close relatives and friends was when i migrated to Singapore when i was 9... eversince then i learn that in life such parting scenes are really unavoidable... and crying ain't gonna make things better... i dun wanna let my loved ones see me crying the last time i see them... well who knows if we r going to meet ever again?? i would rather leave a smiley face in their mind...

*yawnz* cannot take it already... been sleeping at 3 or 4am the past few nights... shall reward myself with a few more hour of beauty sleep for the hectic schedule today... nitez!!

posted by XY @ 11:25 PM

Was in UBS for job interview this morning... Had 1 interview with the manager of the dept tha I applied for and another interview with ppl from the HR dept... think my skin gets thicker and thicker after each interview... really like "hard selling" myself... haha... but both went pretty smoothly... was applying all i can recall from what Pastor Tan and Pastor Aries taught on the mindset for success... think they seem pretty impressed... whatever it is i think i'm quite happy to make it til this stage... they told me that there were 200 over applicants and i was among the 16 selected for the interview... out of these 16 they are going to shortlist 8 for assessment centre next week... and out of these 8 they r going to hire 2... tough competition... but really pray that I can make it to that 2 positons!!

Feeling really tired now.. physically... though in the spirit i'm really awake now!! can't have enough of Pastor Ulf's preaching... but now can hardly keep my eyes open.... in fact this morning i really had a hard time wearing my contact lens!! looking forward to some good rest during term break in a weeks' time... neva look forward to holiday as eagerly as i do now... blehz... gonna have an early nite... another long day tmr!!

posted by XY @ 12:00 AM

Tired... been sitting in front of this comp for like 13 hours straight.... piah-ing FYP as usual... with a sprained neck from last nite... was burning midnight oil... think i kept looking at my comp then when i turned my head i sprained my neck... painz~ til now can't really turn my head left without turning my body as well... feel a little like those chinese vampire... super stiff...

Coz of this sprained neck i couldn't go down to church for pst ulf's seminar... so stayed home and watched the webcast... thank God for information technology... was in my room with the headset on and pst ulf screaming into my ears... haha~ but the message was really good... how true convertsshould have these 3 things: communion, revelation, and mission... really excited abt the outreach into china in the coming years... hope i can go one day!!

Was chatting a little with B who's leaving for Sydney this Fri... think he's getting a little sentimental and all that... totally unlike the usual him... which makes me a little worried... Well... thank God SK will be there with him... so things should be fine... at least SK promised so....

Going UBS for job interview tmr... pray for me, whoever sees this!! gonna turn in early and have some beauty sleep to compensate for staying up late last nite... didnt sleep til 4 plus in the morning!! gonna become panda soon... boo hoo....

posted by XY @ 11:47 PM

Taking a break from writing the draft for my thesis... braindead... *_*

Thank God for all the ppl who were there to accompany me for the entire V-day last saturday.. so busy that there's no time to think abt the unhappy past...

The exciting day started with being late for lecture in the morning... WY's uncle gave us a lift to school as usual when half way thru the journey, the driver behind started horning... then at the traffic light the driver next to us started waving to us frantically and tried to signal something... then when WY's uncle came out of the car to check we realise we've been travelling with a badly punctured tyre... so bobian he gotta change tyre... took quite abit of time there but eventually did it with the help of 2 strangers...

So we were late for lecture for a good half an hour... and mind u we only have ONE lecture that day... to add on to that, the lecturer looked like she's got some hot date and was rushing thru everything to end class early... so in all I only attended HALF a lecture...

But things began to get better from then onward... went Holland-V with LW, Shu and Aileen for our "Bachelorette outing" (though Aileen's attached actually)... went for lunch at this pretty cool sandwich bar and ice-cream after that... V-day is time to pamper urself with good food... haha~

Went church after that... and the zone had some V-day activities after service... so was rushing all the way til 8 plus before the cell group could go out for dinner... everywhere was PACKED with ppl... blehz... took a really long time to settle down... but i guess everyone enjoyed and the newer members really get closer to the CG!!

Then after that went to meet up Adrian, Ben, Shiwei and Audrey for a drink at Checker... something like a last gathering before Ben goes Sydney on Friday... really had a good time...

So here's the account of my exciting V-day.... back to work... ciaoz~

posted by XY @ 9:06 PM

Sent in my resume to this HR consultancy firm yesterday for an application... only to receive an email today that they want me to reformat my resume and send it back TODAY!!! and i only saw it juz now lor... sianz.... dunno if they'll get it in time or not.... arghz....

Anyway tmr is v-day... sad memories flooding back... thank God that at least i have company from LW and Shu tmr... gonna have our "bachelorette outing" tmr... going for some good food at holland-v after class... hope we'll have a good time....

That's all for tonite... gonna wake up early for class tmr... what an agony.... sighz~

posted by XY @ 11:51 PM

Today is a full day of running around in formal wear and heels... went to MAS in the morning for interview and UBS in the afternoon for numerical test... so so so tiring... not really becoz the interview and test was tough but it's really the long waiting in between... u noe when u wait and stone ard and do nothing, u'll get really tired too....

everything was ok at MAS at first... essay writing and group discussion was pretty alright.... but was kinduv clueless after the interview... it's so short that u dun really get an idea of what they r looking out for.... so basically I'm pinning no expectation on a job in MAS... though MAS is one of my ideal working places....

Haiz... work aside.... glad that I got to spend some time with a friend who's going away for further studies soon... met up for tea and chit chat after my numerical test at UBS... did some catching up.... he's one of those ppl I be really open with... we can talk abt everything... from ministry to our dreams to our criteria for choosing future partner... it's alwayz fun to chat with him... good way to relieve stress... haha~

And we talked abt this.... one can't be a 100% rational when it comes to relationship.... if u r a 100% rational, chances r u won't take the step to commit urself into a relationship at all.... ai4 qing2 shi4 xu1 yao4 yi1 dian3 chong1 dong1 de... Don't u agree??

posted by XY @ 9:25 PM

more on my job search frenzy... got a call from UBS today to ask me to go down for a numerical test thur afternoon... so I'll be going thru 3 rounds at MAS in the morning and another round at UBS in the afternoon... rounds crazy... and I'm skipping a lecture plus 2 tutorials juz to go for something that may not even land me to a job... and i'm still sitting on 2 half-done application form that will due in a week or so.... wonder when will this madness end.....

SK is not online.... suppose to hear from him abt his project and the results he's getting from his sensor thing... hope everything's fine....

posted by XY @ 8:14 PM

finally I'm back to action... after a few days of walking ard in this drowsy state after having cough syrup....

been sleeping in my brother's room these few days... din wanna spread my cough/flu to my sis who share the same room as me... so slept in my brother's room since its empty anyway (he's in NS).. there's juz something abt his bed that really induce sleep... i find it harder to get up in the morning.... juz wanna continue sleeping... maybe that accounts for why he alwayz wake up late... haha~

Yup still in the job searching frenzy.... juz applying for every other position that's open.... juz can't imagine myself going back for convo in July without a job!! going for yet another interview this thur... gonna skip class to go.... it's interview with MAS... quite surprise that my resume din go into their rubbish bin... yet.... but this interview is gonna be a tough one.... in one morning I'm gonna go thru a group discussion cum debate, essay writing, and an interview... that's quite a bit to cope with in one morning....

Had a haircut esp for this interview... got this guy called kenneth to do my hair... quite pleased with the results.... think this is one of the best haircut i had in recent time... *grinz*

Ho ho.... time to get back to work.... ciaoz~

posted by XY @ 11:21 AM

*cough cough sneeze sneeze* sighz I'm down with flu AGAIN... tried to self-medicated the past few days but apparently it didn't work... got worse this morning... had a fever while i was in school... so miserable... finally went to see a doc juz now... suppose to rest after I took the medicine... but then again I was too caught up with my work.... some job application deadlines coming up cannot continue to sit on my half-done resume and application forms anymore...

Anyway even if I have nothing to do I won't be able to fall asleep... once I stop doing things the angel and devil sitting on my shoulders would start yakking away...

angel: u noe he didn't do it on purpose, why did u scold him and said such mean things??

devil: no no no... he deserves it... he's always doing things that hurt others' feeling... he hurt u so deeply b4... and now he's abused the trust of ur buddy.... u are juz doing the right thing to stand up for ur buddy and show him some colour....

angel: but he really didn't mean to do it... why would he wanna hurt her?? they r good friends u noe... perhaps he really wanted to help but juz used the wrong method??

devil: ha ha... u were his buddy too... didn't he do all the evil things to hurt ur feeling?? and to think that u were the one who stood by him when nobody cares...

angel: hey yah he didn't hurt u before... but u should really forgive and forget.... afterall he wasn't entirely his fault back then... u should be responsible for what happened too...

devil: but he started it all first... u trusted him so much and he abused ur trust... now he's abusing ur buddy's trust... how can u juz let him continue his evil way?? he deserves some punishment....

angel: ok even if he was wrong u should give him a chance to change... u noe him for so long u should noe that he's not a bad person in the first place... it's juz the many things he been thru over the years that cause him to be like that... how can u juz give up on him?? u should help him!!

devil: huh?? but u gave him so many chances before!! when everyone thought he made an unforgivable mistake u were among the very few who continued to believe in him... when everyone look down on him and despise him u still stood by him... even when he hurt ur feeling u still try ur best to find excuses for him... haven't u given him too many chances to change?? and see!! he's still like that... he's not gonna change... never....

angel: who are u to judge?? and why can't u juz be a nice person for another time and help him to reconcile with ur buddy?? why do u have to step in and make the whole matter worse??

devil: help him?? over my dead body!! people like him doesn't deserve ur help... anyway even if u help he also won't appreciate it....

Me: Stop Stop Stop..... enough!!!! I have enough!!!!!

posted by XY @ 12:08 AM

Juz realise that I haven't clear my icq history on my laptop b4... Every conversation's been kept since I got this laptop in Aug 2001... Was going thru some conversations I had with my close friend... realise that we've changed so much since then...

Back then we were juz some innocent girls juz fresh outta junior college... full of hope and aspiration.... over the years we each had our share of the pie of what life is all about... betrayal by friends, backstabbing, falling for the wrong guys, blah blah blah...

Thank God thru it all we still have each other... it's good that to know that someone's always there for me... esp when I know very well that I'm very fond of dwelling in the past... it's juz me lah... Once in a while I juz can't help but think of things in the past... I know it's not the thing to do but it's juz me lor... not a very forward looking person actually.... and definitely not as strong as I appear to be... Thank God she's always been there to stand by me....

posted by XY @ 7:33 PM